Log in

No account? Create an account
ni3ll3, i pwn j00!!!1's Journal

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile

Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
12:54 am - Caturday!


Do you know what day it is??

Take time to enjoy it, for the end is nigh. Nielle told me so.

(4 comments | comment on this)

Friday, January 13th, 2006
1:38 pm - The News You Need To Know

Recently compiled!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Nielle!

  1. Antarctica is the only continent without Nielle.

  2. On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of Nielle.

  3. In 1982 Time Magazine named Nielle its 'Man of the Year'!

  4. Nielle cannot jump.

  5. Tradition allows women to propose to Nielle only during leap years.

  6. If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and Nielle would be as small as a pea.

  7. Nielle will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music.

  8. Olive oil was used for washing Nielle in the ancient Mediterranean world.

  9. Scientists have discovered that Nielle can smell the presence of autism in children.

  10. Nielleomancy is the art of telling the future with Nielle!

I am interested in - do tell me about

(comment on this)

Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
11:26 am - JIIIIIIIIHAD!

Further to Mab's quick-witted report of Nielle's potentially terrorist leanings, a contact at the Associated Press forwarded some very damning evidence. It appears that matters are worse than we'd first anticipated - now Nielliboo is armed.

This enemy of the state must be brought to JUSTICE!

current mood: oh noes!

(3 comments | comment on this)

Monday, December 19th, 2005
3:58 pm - This just in...

Rumour has it that Nielle is a confirmed support of the Cat Herders Assocation of North America, an alleged fundraising arm of the known terrorism organization, Hummousnpita.

She was spotted eating a falafel just hours ago.

Authorities should be notified.


(comment on this)

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
3:16 pm - The Rumour Mill - Update!

Word on the street is that Nielle has been up to her dirty tricks again. Silly Nielle, tricks are for kids! >=O

- Nielle once sponsored a World Vision child, but cut off payments when she claimed she couldn't read the kid's handwriting.
- When asked by a hobo if she had any spare change, Nielle backed over him with a dumptruck filled with pennies.. despite the fact that she doesn't even have a class-D driver's license!
- Nielle has been rumoured to have invented the following: cocaine, bubblegum-flavoured fluoride treatments, the Pocket Fisherman, Belgium, those eyes ticks you get when you're really tired, hangnails, and the Magic Bullet.
- Nielle has cancelled Christmas.


current mood: cynical

(2 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, November 29th, 2005
11:08 pm - MAH BEHBEH!

Nielle, I shall never forget what you've done to Mab's and my son.

Before you came along, he had a life. He had dreams. Goals. Two parents who cared for his every need, provided those needs didn't entail physical care, nourishment, or any semblance of attention.

But you, you evil harpy.. YOU DID THIS! You turned our little baby into the monster that he is today.

It's YOUR fault he aged prematurely, chose to live as a woman, and subsequently pursued a meaningless career ministering through clown college! Oh, my little Snicklefritz.. momma misses you.1

1 Okay, not so much "misses", as "resents having to get up to change the channel on the telemavision instead of just throwing an errant rock at you. If only your father would get off his lazy, good-for-nothing ass and buy me a decent set, then we wouldn't be in this predicament and you could go along your merry way, continuing to disappoint the family, as you've been disappointing us for the past 7 years of your measly life.

current mood: THAT DOES IT

(2 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
3:28 pm - This just in...

This just in!

Nielle is a STRONG REPUBLICAN, bordering on fascism!

These scientifical results don't lie:

You are a

Social Conservative
(18% permissive)

and an...

Economic Conservative
(95% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Strong Republican

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

(2 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, September 15th, 2005
3:19 pm - This just in...

This just in:

I totally just spotted Nielle humping a chihuahua on Bank Street on Sunday while eating Icecream. She had even tethered her horse within 100m of a public building!

Scandal abounded.


(3 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
1:02 pm - The Nielle Cult!


I Google Imagesearched the name "Nielle", and came across this obvious reference to a satanic cult.

Be a'fear'd, all those who know and worship the Nielliboo. No good can come of this discovery.

current mood: WTF U GUYZ

(2 comments | comment on this)

Friday, August 26th, 2005
1:35 pm - BN 05-118177-652


BN 05-118177-652

Request to Confirm/Deny rumours about Nielle


The media would like to know the Truth about Nielle.


Many rumours are going around about Nielle. They have been attached in Annex A. (see above)

Current Status:

The minister is expected to speak at a press conference this afternoon.

All the rumours about Nielle in the attached Annex are verifiably true and have been confirmed by reliable third-party anonymous sources.


Should the truth about Nielle be revealed, our national security will not be compromised. Not revealing the truth about Nielle could compromise our national systems integrity and deflect attention away from pertinent daily issues.


It is our opinion that the minister should speak the truth about Nielle at the press conference scheduled this afternoon.

                       Department Lead:          John Johnson

                       Branch Lead:              Anders Anderson

                       Director General:         Susan Susanson

                       Contact:                  Timothy Timothyson

                       Originator:               Lisa Lisason

(5 comments | comment on this)

11:45 am - The rumour mill!

The rumour mill is abuzz with Nye-news! Here's the latest:

- Nielle's real name is "Kevin".
- Nielle's real hair colour is puce.
- Nielle always wins at Monopoly because she uses the shoe-shaped piece. And pre-emptively fellates the banker.
- Nielle once ate a live budgie for $5.50. When pressed, she said it "wiggled a lot going down".
- Nielle douches with Borax. (That's so metal!)
- Nielle once saw an old lady crossing a busy street with her arms full of groceries. So she ran to help her across the street to safety, and upon reaching the curb, she kidney-shotted grandma and made off with two baguettes and a dented can of Beefaroni.
- Nielle is the true Warchief.


In conclusion, Nielle sux. That is all.

(3 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, August 25th, 2005
9:29 pm

I cannot express my hatred for Nielle in mere words. I must rely upon the graphic form to convey my feelings of digust and raging apathy towards this shrill harpy:

I believe this comic speaks for itself.

(2 comments | comment on this)

6:55 pm - You weiner!

What I'm wondering, besides why Mara hates me *weepweep* is why anne_frank has beans as one of their interests. Granted, I've never read any Anne Frank stuff, but... Frank & Beans?

current mood: confused

(2 comments | comment on this)

9:12 pm - OMG teh hatings

Yeah, that Nielle girl? She is SUCH a hanger-arounder-onner-person. I mean. Dude. She tags along everywhere I go. She eats everything I eat. I go to a movie? She's there! She's always bugging me when I'm online and asks me to buy her stuff in WoW and FFXI. Every time I wake up she's RIGHT THERE. Seriously. Get your own life.

(1 comment | comment on this)

> top of page